LGBQT Cruising has gone way beyond 'Friends of Dorothy' secret meetings
By Dallas Sherringham
LGBQT cruising has come a long way since the days of secret meetings in shady bars on board cruise ships. It used to be common to see a “Friends of Dorothy” meetup listed in your cruise ship's daily newsletter (sometimes abbreviated as FOD), usually grouped among singles meetups, Friends of Bill W. or even the bridge club meetings. The trouble is once word had got out about Dorothy, more straight people started turning up than gay passengers which kind of ruined the idea. Then there were my senior relatives who inadvertantly ended up in the middle of a LGBQT meeting by mistake. Cruise Critic advises the term “Friends of Dorothy “ is still in use on some cruise ships, although modernization efforts have put these meet-ups more front and center. Friends of Dorothy of course is an old euphemism for people who identify as LGBTQ+: lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and all other members of the queer community. With more openness around sexuality now, the term Friend of Dorothy has become merely quaint, and LGBTQ+ events at sea are labeled with clear language on most major cruise lines. And while the term Friends of Dorothy has faded from common use, many members of the queer community continue to enjoy cruise vacations. If you're among them, here's everything you need to know about LGBTQ+ meetups at sea. The History of the Friends of Dorothy The term Friends of Dorothy reaches back more than half a century, coming into popular use in the 1950s as gays and lesbians developed a connection with the musical icon Judy Garland, whose relentless spirit epitomized camp and glamour, while her rather tragic life circumstances mirrored their own struggles in everyday life. Garland's most famous role – as the ever-optimistic and wistful Dorothy in the 1939 classic "The Wizard of Oz" – gave gays and lesbians a "secret" code word that they could use to refer to themselves. At cocktail parties or company gatherings where one could not be comfortably "out and proud," gays would inquire discreetly of each other, "Are you a Friend of Dorothy?" The admission of "I am, too!" would likely lead to fast bonding in an age when gay bars were clandestine and, in some cases, dangerous. Friends of Dorothy meetings began popping up on cruise ships' daily programs in the late 1980s as gay passengers began to seek out more social meetings with their own affinity group. They wanted an easy way to identify and socialize with other queer travelers on large ships. These meetings occurred sporadically at first, dependent on the policies of the cruise lines and the whims of individual cruise directors. As gays and lesbians gained more acceptance and visibility, these meetings began appearing with more regularity. Not all meetups are public: 'Closet gays' was once an unkind term to describe people who prefer not to expose their sexual preferences, They may be married and their partner doesn't know or they may be both 'bi' but dont want friends and family to know. Whatever the reason, there are a number of web sites that include 'Cruise Ship Meetups' in their Forums. Biaustralia.com.au, for example, has a section devoted to people who are cruising. Members can record which ship they are on and the dates and it is relatively easy for them to arrange a meeting on board. Best gay cruises for singles
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